“I wonder about sexuality in today’s world. Instead of adding more glasses, we should stop trying to contain people within them. Perhaps, eventually, we’ll rid ourselves of the glass system altogether and start walking towards a new world which accepts sexuality like dignity.” How often do we muse on the liberty of how we go about it? Very rarely, isn’t it? Societal taboo has forbidden it. For this reason, we provide you this space to experience innate identities and desires and embrace them wholeheartedly.
We live in a world where everything seems right or wrong, black or white. You’re either right or left, male or female, gay or straight. But everything in this world is not substantial. There’s a dynamism in this earth that far too many of us miss. Most of all around sexuality, where we fear being sexually freed. We cannot comprehend being a little bit gay, or a smidge lesbian. Many of us don’t even know where we stand on transgender attraction. As if attraction is purely about which genitals you prefer.
Sexuality and Attraction will ebb and flow, sometimes between men and women, other times between jocks and dad bods, or hairy muffs to freshly waxed snack packs. Sometimes people may not want sex at all. Sometimes they want to have everyone inside themselves. There is no “one” right way when it comes to sexuality, but you must allow yourself the time to explore it all. Especially before claiming you’re straight.
Sexuality is more like the food we prefer to eat. You have food that you like and then you have food that you don’t like. But, if you had a gun to your head, I’m sure you could force anything down. You may not like it, but you would do it anyway. A gay man, would fawn over like no tomorrow on another gay men, but women? So many have been there, done that, tried it a handful of times and still they are just not keen. They could force themselves to have sex with a women, but do you think they would like it. And that’s because people allow themselves to experience heterosexual sex before claiming the gayness.
But some of you claim to be purely straight, all because of societal pressure. People fear the wrath of those around, as if their thoughts matter. But the fact is, they don’t. A majority of people will likely be bisexual – not smack-bang in the middle, of course, but many will have inclinations towards the same sex. How do we know if we’re purely straight if somebody haven’t tried and failed with someone of the same sex? That’s like saying I don’t like rock climbing and having never climbed a rock in my whole life.
Away From Society, Towards Acceptance
Sexuality has to do with the way you identify, how you experience sexual and romantic attraction (if you do), and your interest in and preferences around sexual and romantic relationships and behavior.
Who your sexual or romantic partner is at a given moment in time doesn’t necessarily define this part of who you are. Sexuality is fluid – changing its shape in different mold’s and situations, and over the years for others, change can eventually occur anytime.
Acquaint yourself with language that describes different types of sexual and romantic feelings and orientations will help you, your partners, and your friends navigate and understand the many ways people experience and identify their sexuality.
Different types of sexual orientations :
- Allosexual: The term is used to define people who DO experience sexual attraction and is used to differentiate from people who are a-sexual. This doesn’t refer to what gender someone is attracted to, rather the fact that they experience sexual attraction in the first place. Allosexual person can also be gay, bisexual, straight, lesbian, etc.
- Androsexual: Androsexual, experience sexual feelings towards masculinity in general. Androsexual people may be inclined towards cis men, as well as trans men, males, or masculinity as a whole.
- Asexual: A asexual, experience little or no interest in sexual activity.These people may still engage in sex because they may like it, want to appease a partner or have biological children. They also may still experience romantic attraction.
- Bisexual: Bisexuality used to be considered people who are attracted to men and women, but it has expanded to include people who are romantically and/or sexually attracted to people of more than one gender.This allows for more gender inclusivity.
- Demisexual: Demisexuality is on the asexuality spectrum. People who are demisexual typically only experience sexual attraction after they’ve formed a strong emotional bond with someone.
- Fluid: Sexuality can change over time. The term fluid gives language to that experience and space for people to explore their changing sexuality.
- Gay: People who are gay experience romantic and/or sexual attraction to people of the same gender.
Even if someone appears to be gay, they may choose to use a different term like lesbian for women, or queer.
- Gynesexual: People who are gynesexual, experience sexual feelings towards femininity in general. Gynesexual people may be attracted to cis women, as well as trans women, females, or feminity as a whole.
- Heterosexual: Also known as “straight”. People who are heterosexual are attracted to people of the “opposite” gender as them. Although typically thought of in the context of cis-gender, trans people may also identify as heterosexual.
- Homosexual: This term typically means people who are attracted to the same gender as them, however, it is outdated, and often considered offensive.
- Lesbian: Women or females, no matter if they’re cis-gendered or not, may use the term lesbian if they are attracted to people of the same or similar gender.
- Pansexual: Pan means “all”, and people who are pansexual may be romantically or sexually attracted to people of any gender or sexuality.
- Queer: Although formally considered a derogatory term, many people in the LGBTQIA+ community have reclaimed the word as a broad umbrella term for anyone who isn’t specifically cisgender or heterosexual.